Because of You
by Aeyria
Summary: One-shot. Ai's in America trying to forget everything after she broke the news to Conan about there being no antidote. In the park, Ai has feelings embrace her along with the boy she's trying to forget behind her...


**Because of You**

**A/N**: HEY! I'm back with another one-shot! –Gazing at other unfinished story- Hmmm, maybe later. Right now I come back with another fan-fic that goes along with a song that fits very well with our little pairing of Conan and Ai. Because of You from After School, very sad song. But like I said with Juliette, it's NOT a song-fic. Ok, so I have to admit Ai may be OOC in here, don't flame me! Enough of my jabbering, here's my first ConanXAi story. Enjoy~

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Detective Conan, I'm just a middle school girl who finally found time to make another fan-fic.

**(Ai's POV, age 14)**

I miss Kudo-kun, who had walked out of my life years ago…

_**-FLASHBACK-**_

"_You can't be telling me the truth Haibara!" Kudo-kun begged after I had told him the news that there was no cure for the shrinking. _

"_Kudo-kun, you're denying the truth. Didn't you always say 'One truth will prevail!'?" I inquired as he slumped onto the couch. _

_No reply came from Kudo-kun for a few mintues. I studied him in this state. His once bright dark blue eyes shown with no life, it was glazed over. He seemed as lifeless as a ragdoll. I slowly strolled away before stopping in my tracks when I heard several whispers._

"_This can't be true… What about Ran? She's still waiting for me… I need to leave, run away…" Kudo-kun gazed at me, trying to soak in the truth._

_I made my way back over. "Then what can you do Kudo-kun?"_

"_Go to America and tell Ran I won't be coming back."_

"_Kudo-kun you have to thi-"_

_Kudo-kun jumped up from the couch, determination filling up his eyes with life again. "I need to make arrangements with Hakase and make up a story that I'll be going to America. I need to call Ran and tell her to stop waiting for me. I need to forget all of this."_

_I watched as he scampered out of the living room to find Hakase. There was no stopping him, I knew once he had something set in his mind he wouldn't make a U-turn and go back… _

_**-At the airport, days later-**_

_Mouri-san had tears trailing down her face. Ayumi-chan was sobbing loudly as well, and all Kudo-kun could do was stand there and watch. I stood aside from the group as they began saying good-bye to Kudo-kun. Kudo-kun went through the crowd, hugging everyone and had watery eyes when he came to Mouri-san. My eyes diverted from their departing hug scene. _

_I hid behind some luggage, crouching as low as I could. Kudo-kun wouldn't find me; I knew he wouldn't want to either. I caused him all this pain, making him run away from his old life. When his plane was called, I came out of my hiding. No one seemed to know that I had disappeared from the cluster momentarily. But as I watched Kudo-kun walk away, I felt unwanted tears fight their way out of my eyes. I will miss you… _

_**-END OF FLASHBACK-**_

It's been years since then. I had moved to America at the age 10 by myself. I always cried tears every day because of him. Feelings resurfaced as I closed my eyes, trying to enjoy the breeze caressing my face out in the local park, on a stormy day. I could never forget you. Never forget you…

Rain droplets showered slowly from the sky as the rain fell. I stayed out there; even the protection of my apartment wouldn't help me fend off these feelings. The weather today agreed with my feelings. Whenever it rained my heart always shook up, never being the same. Regrets washed up in my mind.

I regret giving you my love.

I regret getting attached to you.

I regret holding you back…

Holding you back from your true love… Your Mouri-san…

Why do I have to face this pain alone? No one there helping me up as I fell for you. I tried countless times to be your girl, but knowing it was all in vain. You were blinded from other girls' love because of Mouri-san. Did you ever understand my heart? No, you never tried. Tears flowed down my face as the rain surrounding me came down harder and heavier.

I could never erase you from my mind; you were always there, after every time I try to wash you away. I only laughed with you there. I haven't laughed ever in my life after the last member of my family died. You were the sunshine that came into my bleak life. I've lost everything without you here. I'm speechless, lonely, and suffocating here without any company, especially yours. The world I live in wouldn't ever be the same, for my heart would never love any boy again.

This unfair world has chewed out my heart.

It stomped my dignity.

It tore my heart apart.

Why did you leave me behind in this everlasting tunnel of darkness as I tried reaching for you, making endless attempts?

It rained on that day you left for America. And it's raining now. I remembered that before I hid from you, you sent me a forced awkward smile, showing that we were forever separated.

I always wanted to stay by you, not wanting to leave. My love was finally true with you there, but you walked out on me, not knowing my true feelings.

I miss you…

I need you…

I want to rewind time back. To try to find a cure, just to see your happiness, even if that still broke my heart. For seeing you joyful with Mouri-san was better than seeing you horribly gloomy without her. My heart aches. I want you here. Where are you? Thanks to you, I believed in love for the first and final time…

I knew from Hakase that you had moved again in America, to the area where I was living. Not because I was here, but because your parents wanted to see some new scenery. I saw glimpses of you once and a while; always eager to see you but never once did I confront you.

I need you… Conan…

My eyes flew open as the rain suddenly stopped falling. An umbrella was hanging over me, causing the droplets of water to bounce away from me. I didn't need to turn around to know who it was. I wasn't going to turn around. I wasn't ever going back to the land of broken promises. I'm never going to make a U-turn either, so I looked onward in the park, not daring to gaze at his face. It would bring unwanted memories of suffering; you were never mine to start with. Even afterward, you'll never be mine.

I love you Shinichi, but I knew you would never know that.

**A/N**: Awww… -Sniffle- Sad ending, I know. Even though this is a ConanXAi, notice they aren't Shinichi or Shiho, like many of my other stories. They are just older versions of Conan and Ai. And yes, I know, I said Shinichi in the end, but I never heard Ai say his name, so I placed it there… Anyone upset on how it ended? If I get enough requests, I can make another chapter to this or Shinichi's version of this…


End file.
